The F*** Ups of an Imperfect Parent

Let’s talk about fuck ups.

Parental ones. I’m talking about the ‘dropping the baby on their head’ stuff.

The stuff we don’t talk about.

Hell, I’m sure I’ll get judged by a minority for bearing these stories but then I don’t really mind. I am a great mum and I know it. That’s the point. Fuck ups are inevitable but so long as we learn, we grow and we don’t beat ourselves up for eternity for being HUMAN. That’s all that matters. I don’t know about you but if my confidence falters, if I let ONE bad incident eat me up – I end up fucking up again in close succession. It’s important not to lose faith in yourself just because you didn’t get something quite right. It’s important because if you lose that confidence and lose that faith as a parent, you’ll lose that ability to be the best you can be. So trust me when I say, it’s OK to fuck up now and again. We ALL do it. Nobody is perfect.

It’s not that we forget these moments. OH NO. We most definitely do not forget our parental cock ups but somewhere down the line we tell ourselves it’s something that’s better buried, better not mentioned or not spoken of EVER again. Why do we do that?

I remember that time I put our second little girl in her pram and went into the car and turned round to get her sister. Only to turn round and discover the pram was in motion, across the car park and caught by a passer by.

Or like that time I’d gone into my living-room for what felt like 5 seconds to get our first child’s dummy. She’d just started crawling and there she was, rolling head first down half a flight of stairs onto the landing. The ball on her head, the drive to the hospital. It’s an image I’ll never forget.

Our first new born bath experience, where we quickly discovered she was like one of those ‘water snakes.’ WOOOOSH she went. Oh shit we went.

I remember that time I’d pent up enough courage to cut her tiny little finger nails for the first time. I’d chosen the clippers – they looked less lightly to screw up. One finger, two finger, oh that wasn’t a nail. I remember the scream and her poor petted lip.

That time I was learning to breastfeed for the first time. I didn’t want to show my knockers to my new friend – so I used a blanket to cover our child’s head. Only to discover my babies face had went purple. From hence forth my boobies were known by all.

Fingers in coke cans, hands on burny cups and pinching candle flames.

Slips on wet bathroom floors, black eyes on corners and nippy bums from the odd saggy nappy. My list is endless.

So is my list of AMAZING ACHIEVEMENTS.

We physically can’t prevent it all. We just can’t. There’s no denying we’ve got this inbuilt ability to identify danger in every situation and protect our children to the best of our abilities. Our reflexes become INSANE but here’s the thing. We can’t prevent it all. We just can’t. There’s not many parents I’ve met that couldn’t bag a job in health and safety. Suddenly we become SO aware of the dangers don’t we? But we’re learning. Always learning. Just like our kids are when they attempt to take a swig out our ‘fancy cups’ or lipstick to the walls.

My fuck ups were the inspiration behind ‘The Imperfectly Perfect Parent.’ I didn’t want to hide behind them anymore and pretend I was perfect. I didn’t want to keep those stories to myself. I needed to let all my shit out and lay it ALL on the table. Good AND bad.

Why?

Because there’s no greater peace found than that of being accepted for who you are, flaws and all and not who people would like you to be.

We are human, raising humans. Humans fuck up.

Remember that.

Huge Love,

Heather, an amazing mother who’s had a fair few fuck ups.

x

*Please share said fuck ups below.

3 thoughts on “The F*** Ups of an Imperfect Parent

  1. Thanks for this post! So needed to hear it after jamming my little ones fingers in the door by accident! The screams 😭 it’s been a couple of days and I’ve not closed a door since 🙈

  2. Ok so for some stupid reason people seem to have this vision that I am Mary popping but you know what we all fuck up! When my youngest was about 18 mths I was outside with my middle child my oldest aged 4 at the time was in the house with daddy. However I took the eye off the ball and if it wasn’t for my amazing big girl my littlest wouldn’t be here. We had just moved in and all the windows had blinds with cords. The littlest got tangled up by the neck. The oldest screamed and daddy came running. Thank God she was ok. But my goodness that was a serious fuck up. We should have changed the cords. We shouldn’t have left our babies alone. We should have been watching. My god the guilt. But it was ok. My oldest is our hero and I post everywhere about blind cords. X

  3. Haha love this blog! Fuck ups are inevitable in parenting and I too have had my fair share 😂

    With my first, I remember the first time she properly fell and hurt herself and it was completely my fault. I had opened the back door to let the dog out and then for whatever crazy reason, I just then went back into the living room to sit down with my tea. Unbeknownst to me, my newly crawling 6 month old had went into the kitchen and fell out the back door (I have 2 concrete stairs down into my garden by the way 🙈) . I’ll never forget how much my heart sank when I heard her scream because I instantly knew exactly what had happened 😐 she ended up with a massive egg on her head, scrape on her cheek and a cut above her eye. The cut above her eye has actually left a little scar so I will forever be reminded of my carelessness that day…

    I also had a bad mum moment just a few days ago with my second who is 5 months old. I sat him up in the middle of my bed whilst I was getting ready. My eldest came in to talk to me which was fine but then I turned around to get something out of my drawers and in the 5 seconds it took me to do that, she had got up onto my bed and started jumping. I turned around just in time to witness my baby falling backwards off my bed and smack bang onto his head. I felt awful all day. I even decided at one point during the day I wasn’t going to tell anyone but then I realised I was just being silly and accidents happen (plus my 3 year old would almost definitely have grassed me up to my husband anyway so I might as well get in there first!).

    I could go on and on about the mistakes I have made as a mum but on the flip side, I could also go on and on about all of the good things I have done as a mum so I think overall it balances itself out 😊 x

Leave a Reply