I thought it may be quite apt to make one of my first topics on here about a word that in all honesty, I didn’t quite appreciate the value of until I learned it’s true meaning.
2017 brought an array of invaluable lessons into my life, lessons that I plan to share with you all throughout this new chapter of our lives. Last year brought me a whole new understanding to my life, past and present but most importantly, it brought me confidence.
That word is used a lot but do we really, truly appreciate the importance of it?
I know for certain I didn’t. Little did I know, my lack of confidence had led me into a path of self destruction. I know looking back now that had I not found my confidence, had I not started to truly believe in myself – my story today would be very different. Very possibly all I would be – is a story.
My confidence at a very young age was torn from me.
There’s a beautiful thing about confidence and that is, it may easily be taken away but it can also be so easily gifted. It can be reused, it can be given endlessly and it can be one of the most beautiful gifts a person can receive. It can change a life. Confidence can fall, it can crumble, it can at times feel as if it ceases to exist but it can always be mended, it continuously grows. The roots never leave you. The inner child, the one whom knew no fear never leaves you.
We all have that confidence but sadly for so many of us, it’s not given the chance to speak, to live freely. More often than not we are told to deny ourselves of that knowledge of knowing WHO we are. We are taught to box that confidence, tame it and sometimes destroy it entirely. We are taught how to be, how to behave, how to act and how to live. It’s not until later we discover our choices and our freedom to choose our own paths. For many by the time we are old enough to discover this crucial part of ourselves, we’ve forgotten WHO we are, our choices have been made for us and that self-confidence has shriveled. We are trained to listen to the voice of others over listening to our own. We ask others before we ask ourselves. Our confidence when asked, “What do YOU want from life?” has fleeted and we’re left scared and unsure of how to give an answer, we look elsewhere for answers. We look on social media, we compare lives and then we doubt ourselves each and every day. We’ve adapted to how society expects us to be, we’ve followed others in the pursuit of happiness but as adults we have learned that another humans pursuit can differ oh so greatly to our own. That’s when we feel the cold hard reality of dissatisfaction and we know we need to change but we struggle to know how. That’s when the wonderful begins, that’s where your inner child shouts louder than ever before and you owe it to yourself to listen. That’s how it happens.
Throughout my life so far, the one connection that is clear in my mind from a transition from upset to happiness was my shift in confidence. When my doubt turned into belief in myself, my life changed from sadness to unparalleled happiness. In my late teens, I would not have ever believed I was worthy of the life I live now. I would never had the confidence to think a kind and generous man with a high flying career would ever love someone as ‘broken’ as me. How could somebody THAT good ever love a girl who was dirty, selfish, broke and toxic? A decade ago, I would never have allowed myself to be a mother, I would never have trusted myself. I didn’t know me, I knew the person I had been told to believe I was. Someone I THOUGHT caused devastation and pain. I had been told too many times to remember how worthless I was, to the point I was just that. Worthless.
The shift happened when my circle changed, when the people round me changed. Love started to emerge and with it, grew compliments and praise. It was foreign to me. Before I knew it, I was being told for the first time in years that I, was a wonderful person. I was a good friend, a wonderful listener, a kind soul. I was strong, I was smart and beautiful. Were they really talking to me? My own voice became clearer, my heart became stronger and the little dreamer who spent many a night envisioning a life of love was LOUD, she was right there. She was telling me what I needed and I was ready to listen, I was ready to believe, I had the confidence to pursue my dreams. The strength, the power of that new gifted confidence made me say yes to the date that would change my life forever.
My confidence, this stunning feature I possess now has enabled me to be the best mum and wife I could possibly be. It’s allowed me to help friends, strangers and most importantly MYSELF. It falters daily. The beauty is, I know right where to find it and I have chosen to be within a circle of people who know too.
The secret it this, find your voice and find your circle. Protect them both like you would your own child. Do not let anybody or anything you don’t trust 100% into that. You are completely and utterly in control of whom you let in.
Below I have listed a few of my favorite confidence building quotes that you can share with your friends and to yourself. Call it a ‘confidence gift.’
If you’d like to know more about my story, head on over to the ‘About’ section. I’ve finally filled in the blanks.
Huge love to you ALL.
Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.― Sheri L. Dew
Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.- Theodore Roosevelt
Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained. – Marie Curie
Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out. – Alan Cohen
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Self-confidence is the memory of success. – David Storey
If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. – Author Unknown
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu